Monday, February 21, 2011

Some Photos...

I have been encouraged by some of you slices to post some of my pictures up here.  As most of you know I spent some time studying photography in college and even though I don't have a ton of time for it right now it is definitely still one of my favorite things.  Most people would probably think that spending hours shooting, editing, or in a dark room would be torture.  For me, its just the opposite.  In college I used to spend countless hours in the dark room.  I could put my ipod on and just let the world fade away.


Since college, I have been hesitant to share any of my work with anyone except my closest friends.  By showing my photos to people I feel like I am leaving myself vulnerable and exposed.  Letting people into a world that is intimately mine can be painful but it can also bring healing.  I guess thats the crazy thing about art, it can stir up emotions and feelings that you might otherwise ignore and not talk about.


Anyway, here they are.  I purposely have not put captions on them.  Let your mind wander a bit and form your own thoughts and feelings about whats going on.  Sometimes the best thing about art is its ability to break free of the conformity that we are so used to in our lives and allow for your own emotions to filter in.








Monday, February 14, 2011

Exhausted

If I am being totally honest I don't know if I have been completely open with all of you.  Those that know me best know I am really good at putting on a happy face, exuding optimism and energy, and acting like everything is ok even when its not.  Truthfully, thats what I have been doing these past couple of weeks.  Rather that giving out of the overflow of who God has made me I feel like it is coming from the core of my being.  And thats not a good thing!  There is not really anything major happening in my life but I am just tired.  No not tired....exhausted.  


I feel like my wheels are constantly spinning and there is no time to really rest.  I can't remember the last time I did something for myself or was able to turn my brian off.  Lately, I have really felt like just quitting it all.  Wyldlife, Circles, relationships, all of it.  At times I think it would just be easier to shut down and withdraw from everything.  And that is hard for me to say.  I am definitely not a complainer and I hate whining, which is probably why I have put off writing this.  I even started off writing this post with something about prayer and what God was teaching me but it just didn't seem right.  


The truth is thats a lie.  Quitting would not be easier, even though it seems that way sometimes.  I know that it is in times like this that where my faith is shaped.  I know that God is doing something in me that I can't see or understand.  I know that it is in this time, when I feel distant from Him, the people I care about, and the things that make me happiest that I need to push into Him.  He is there, He will draw me near, and He will rejuvenate my life.


All that being said, I am not going anywhere.  I will continue to search for God in each moment of each day and wait expectantly for Him to show Himself.  I will rely on those closest to me for encouragement.  And I will cherish the sweet, quiet moments trusting that He will fill my cup.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

What about the innkeeper....

Tonight we had Wyldlife.  It happens every two weeks and is always the highlight of my week.  Spending time with a bunch a crazy junior highers quickly reminds me of whats important and to never lose sight of that.  Anyway, tonight one of the leaders spoke on the parable of the Good Samaritan and she did an awesome job.  I, like most people, am familiar with the story but after coming home tonight I found myself drawn back to it, wanting to know and investigate more.  As I got to the end of it I realized that there is a 5th person to the story that often gets overlooked, the innkeeper.


The innkeeper is mentioned only once in a short verse where the samaritan instructs him to take care of the wounded man and upon his return the innkeeper will be paid in full.  Thats it, thats all we hear about him.  In actuality he plays a bigger role then I had ever noticed before.  By the samaritans' request the innkeeper is asked to ensure of the man's survival for little or no compensation.  The samaritan does say that he will return but how can the innkeeper be so sure.  And still he does.  The innkeeper relinquishes his own feeling and thoughts toward the situation and out of obedience, trust, and the goodness of his own heart, cares for the man.  What a selfless act.


When I think about the innkeeper's role in this story I cant help but wish that I could be like that.  That I could have enough trust and obedience to put my own emotions and side and act out of the goodness of my heart.  What a humbling reminder of what we all should strive for.