Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Ouch

So its been awhile but I’m back.  I have been at a lack for interesting thoughts lately so I haven’t been an as active with my blog as I should be but this weekend was different.  I love Easter!  It’s an opportunity to reflect on Christ and His ultimate expression of everlasting love and that is so sweet.  I was especially excited for this Easter because my dad, step-mom, and little sister were planning on coming.  They are what I like to call CEO’s or Christmas and Easter Onlys’ but this year they asked if they could come rather than me begging them to join me.

Easter morning started out early, as it has for the past three years.  I have to opportunity to serve a lot during Easter.  I am pretty much around to do anything and everything.  Whatever people need I’ll do, its kind of like an all hands on deck type of time.  And I love it.  Spending time with so many different people and volunteers is something I enjoy most about this season.  Some of my greatest friendships have come out of these two days and it is something I really look forward to.  Anyway, I went to the sunrise service with my fellow slices and then made my way to the fair grounds at 6:30.  I spent most of my morning running around the amphitheater making sure things were where they needed to be.  In the business of it all I got a phone call from my dad that said that they were not coming to church. No specific reason, they just didn’t feel like it. 

Ok, lets back up.   My dad has a reputation for doing things like this.   Most of my memories of him also include some type of let down.   So, when this happened on Sunday it hurt.  In the craziness of the morning I didn’t take a lot of time to think about it but as things slowed down during Francis’ teaching the disappointment that came with that let down began to sink in.  As I listened to the message I was reminded on how much I want that for my family.  I long for those that I care about most to know and feel the love of Christ that I know.  And to think that they don’t is heartbreaking.

As the service ended I realized that a time that should be marked by true joy and celebration was outlined with pain and disappointment.  I wanted so bad for my family to be there and to experience the freedom I do.   In talking with a few you and some of my close friends about all of this I have realized that salvation is not my job its God’s.   And while it is ok to be disappointed and hurt reveling in that pain does no one any good. 
Instead I must continue to focus on the wonderful blessing in my life and how amazing this past weekend was.   I have a family that cares for me, friends who encourage me, and a community that continually points me back to who matters most, Christ.

13 comments:

  1. I think it is wise to reflect on where the disappointment and hurt is coming from. If you rush through it to heal and not that pain, you might miss what God is trying to teach you in that moment. I am so sorry it hurts. I wish they came, too. I will be praying for healing, for truth to wash over them as it has you, and for strength in your community to continually spur you on towards Christ and His redemptive work-- that He would like to do through you. Keep being that light, keep being that salt, Kate!!! : )

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  2. i'm praying for you and your fam-bam kate! continue loving Jesus in a way that will cause your family to be drawn to Him.

    i loved being able to celebrate the greatness of God with you this weekend.

    you are loved!

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  3. yeah kate that is the toughest part about being a christian in my opinion. knowing that there are so many people who just dont know.... especially loved ones. it breaks my heart. my encouragement to you would be to take that pain, all that disappointment and just use all that energy to cry out to God in prayer. i think that is the most effective thing we can do when hurting for non-believers. i read a quote the other day, "prayer does not prepare us for the greater work, prayer is the greater work."

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  4. I agree with Zach. And the hardest/saddest part is that it is something that should bother me more than it does. I've learned to accept it because of being shot down/denied so many times. That is sad. But I too, Kate, have learned the freedom of letting God be God and learning that only He can save and it's not up to us to feel the burden of our fam/friends not "getting it" or accepting Him on our watch. It was so great seeing you at Easter and your passionate love for the Lord is inspiring and so apparent. I know, without a doubt, that your family can see the same thing.

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  5. :) Kate,
    I feel like I haven't seen you in ages & I miss you. I am praying for you and your family as I am writing this & you are completely right when stating that salvation is ultimately up to God & that individual. You are unable to control, they must be chosen & choose the Lord in return. But, its your family; praying harder at this realization. I hope to spend some quality time with you soon. Love to you.

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  6. kate, i'm sorry about your pain. i love you and seeing you brings me so much joy. thank you for serving our church family. you are so valued in this community. i'm really looking forward to spending more time with you. i think you are so beautiful.

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  7. Kate, it was great to spend early Easter morning with you and then see you a bit throughout the day. You have such a serving heart. I'm really saddened about your family, not because I feel like God didn't have His hand in it, because He did, but because I personally know how that feels. I also wanted my family to come, but they didn't, but for the first time I looked around and was reminded that the Church is our family. All of us are brothers and sisters, yes of course, we are closer to our biological family, but it was just really refreshing and allowed me to rejoice that day, like you were talking about. Keep loving on your family and being an example of Jesus, like it seems as though you are, that is your only job. God will work out the rest. You are loved and prayed for!

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  8. First off I want to say I love the acronym CEO's lol. Haven't heard that one before. Second, that is a tough situation. It can be so hard when you care so much for a group of people or family or whatever it is and they made a commitment to you, and then something happens and they break it. Especially if it is a chance for instance where your family could come find Christ. Definitely praying for your family. It is really great as well that you have realized salvation for others is not something that you should keep weighing down on your shoulders. God will do the work, you just need to extend the offer and they need to be willing. Thanks for sharing with us! We definitely appreciate it :) Glad you are a part of this community!

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  9. I read something somewhere that I think would really speak truth but now I can't find it :-( I literally looked through a whole book I am reading right now. Here it goes in my own words...I am so excited that you are being obedient to the Lord in asking your family. I am very sad that they did not come but you are planting a seed. God is working in their lives whether you can see it yet or not. The fact that they said yes to going means that there are future opportunities that God will give you to speak into their lives. Keep asking and one of these times you will not be disappointed. They can see you for who you are and how you live your life. Keep doing that because you are contagious. They will soon want what you have, God. :-) loved seeing you yesterday

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  10. Kate, I just want to say that I have a friend who God is using to minister to his family. I have faith that God will use him to turn their hearts around. My father was also from an unbelieving family, but in the end, his parents both came to know Christ. What we can do is continue to pursue God and let him do the work!

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  11. Family is hard. I can totally relate Kate.
    So much struggle, confusion and heartache is tied to my family relationships.

    I tend to search frantically for solutions so that I can be rescued from a valley or place of pain. But "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" came to mind as I was reading this.

    Praying, Kate!

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  12. Kate I will be praying for you and your family. By the way, I just wanted to say I saw you serving over the weekend and you had such a servant's heart. I'm sure your help was appreciated. :) Love you!

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